Posts Tagged ‘dick’

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10 Weird Things About Me

January 22, 2010

Trust me when I say I have a toy for EVERY occasion

1. I want to have sex with a transexual. I don’t know why but its like my two favorite things at once…titties & dick. How could I go wrong? I likely will never do this though, as I’m afraid of diseases.

2. I love first dates. I hate every other date after that.
3. I laugh when bad things happen to me because I figure its the most high messing with me. Spill a cup of coffee on myself, I giggle. Bust my ass in public, I dissolve in laughter. I’m sure I look nuts.
4. I don’t wear underwear and I have a shitty short-term memory. I usually keep panties in my purse, in case I have to try on jeans. Unfortunately those panties always seem to be discovered at inopportune times, like when the check comes at dinner. There are now way too many people who’ve unintentionally & undeservedly see my panties.
5. I wear flip-flops with everything–even in the winter. Im honestly waiting for What Not To Wear to ambush me.
6. I love my own breast so much that sometimes when I’m in traffic I feel myself up.
7. I once paid a friends power bill. She had a 6-year old daughter and I couldn’t bear the kid being in the dark & cold. A week later, mine was turned off because I’d forgot to pay my own. I forget to pay my¬† electric bill, so now I give them a lot of money when I pay so I have credit.
8. I once had sex with someone old enough to be my dad. GROSS. But he wasn’t as old as my dad, thank god.
9. I can not say heroin & authenticate. I don’t know why, I have tried many times. My mouth & brain just don’t connect for these words.
10. I likely have over $1000 worth of sex toys & porn (see pic). Some A lot of them I bought myself. A few of them were gifts. Nonetheless I have used them all at least once.
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