10 Weird Things About Me

January 22, 2010

Trust me when I say I have a toy for EVERY occasion

1. I want to have sex with a transexual. I don’t know why but its like my two favorite things at once…titties & dick. How could I go wrong? I likely will never do this though, as I’m afraid of diseases.

2. I love first dates. I hate every other date after that.
3. I laugh when bad things happen to me because I figure its the most high messing with me. Spill a cup of coffee on myself, I giggle. Bust my ass in public, I dissolve in laughter. I’m sure I look nuts.
4. I don’t wear underwear and I have a shitty short-term memory. I usually keep panties in my purse, in case I have to try on jeans. Unfortunately those panties always seem to be discovered at inopportune times, like when the check comes at dinner. There are now way too many people who’ve unintentionally & undeservedly see my panties.
5. I wear flip-flops with everything–even in the winter. Im honestly waiting for What Not To Wear to ambush me.
6. I love my own breast so much that sometimes when I’m in traffic I feel myself up.
7. I once paid a friends power bill. She had a 6-year old daughter and I couldn’t bear the kid being in the dark & cold. A week later, mine was turned off because I’d forgot to pay my own. I forget to pay my  electric bill, so now I give them a lot of money when I pay so I have credit.
8. I once had sex with someone old enough to be my dad. GROSS. But he wasn’t as old as my dad, thank god.
9. I can not say heroin & authenticate. I don’t know why, I have tried many times. My mouth & brain just don’t connect for these words.
10. I likely have over $1000 worth of sex toys & porn (see pic). Some A lot of them I bought myself. A few of them were gifts. Nonetheless I have used them all at least once.


  1. 1. Why transgender? Might as well have a 3some. LOL
    2. I love dates in general but I agree, that first one is the best. It’s so new and exciting.
    3. I laugh too yet I also end up talking about it for hours! LOL
    4. I HATE wearing underwear too. Ugh! They are uncomfortable. I like the feel the breeze. LOL
    5. I’m a flipflop lover too. In the winter? Not so much. But I also hate socks and refuse to wear them if at all possible.
    6. OMG I do this too. And my aunt has a fetish about grabbing mine for some reason. LOL
    7. That’s so sweet for your friend and sucks for you. I’ve helped a friend out like that before. Made me feel all warm and mushy inside.
    8. No comment on this one. LOL
    9. I HATE the word ambigous. It’s just something about it that irks me. I hate when people use it. I don’t even know if I spelled it right.
    10. I envy your toy collection. I may match you on the movies though. 😉

    • 1. I have been there and done that with the 3somes, A transgender is new and shiny to me. I like new & shiny!!
      5. I hate socks as well yet I own over 50 pairs of them, crazy thing is I may own 10 pairs of panties.
      9. It would be one thing if I just hated the words…to not be able to say the words though…..trust me it sucks, However I’m pretty sure I will never become a heroin addict because I cant even say the word let alone use it.
      10. Last time I checked I had about 120 porno DVD’s I prefer buying them so I know I have what I like.

      Thanks for sharing 🙂

  2. LoL. I have a pair of hard bottom UGG slippers I wear if there is snow out. They’re just as good as flip flops in the respect that they are open in the back, however they’re warm and fuzzy around my toes.

  3. Good job on paying your friend’s power bill… and that pic of toys looks very intimidating! Wow!

  4. Most impressive Ms Slut. I was foolish enough to open that jpg in a seperate tab at work. What was I thinking – you might ask? I. Do. Not. Know. A compulsion to discover the inner-workings of the HKS by looking at the outer workers? Maybe so……..or maybe I’m just a fuckwit…..

    • Fubsy, I don’t know why you opened it up at work either. SMH. I guess we can take this as a lesson that maybe we shouldn’t open HKS pics at work!! So did you at least learn anything from all this?

  5. Annnd I read the first line and I’m out…lol

    • LoL…stop being a punk and read the damn thing!!!

  6. Yup, and the thing I learned is that my last comment was the right one….

  7. I love your blog and will definitely be adding it to my blogroll. I will keep reading. Thanks so much for sharing.

    I also love Hello Kitty and have an impressive collection of sex toys, but I own a sex toy store so that my excuse. It’s so hard to find people willing to openly talk about these types of things. Do you do reviews of some of the toys you own? Thanks again for sharing.

    • Awww thank you!! I will add you to my blogroll as well.

      We just may very well be sisters 🙂 I am planning to start writing sex toy reviews in the very near future. Stay tuned…..
      Ohh where is your sex store??

  8. I wanted to do a transgender so I did a really really really fat guy like Big Pun Big but it wasn’t the same soooooooo I feel you

    • Meme…….
      *glares at you*
      GET OUT!!!
      LMAO I want to do a very feminine tranny!!

  9. I don’t have a problem with the flip flops if your feet are not crusty or dry or nasty looking.

    Hate hammer time toes

  10. I stopped by!!! You are so special! But if you do ever get that transgender smash on can you tape that I’d love to see it. that is all!!

  11. Lawd I don’t know what’s worse this list or MeMe and the really big fat guy….

    • I am done with Meme. Don’t get me wrong, I love her like cooked food but come on…Big Pun…REALLY?!?!
      Thanks for the read sis!!!

      • I hate that Beth is always judging me…………………….

  12. I forget to pay my electric bill too..I’m sure it’s past due now. I need to get on that, thanks for the reminder 🙂

    I USED to have a nice collection like that too but folks STOLE a few of my pieces. And others broke…I’m hard on my toys. I need to replinish. Know of any good stores?

  13. Oh darling…I don’t even know what to say. LMAO.

    I do wear flip flops a lot, even in the winter, but not exclusively. I’ve never been on a REAL date. I always seem to fall into relationships without dating… 😦

    I’m always laughing at myself, I’m totally with you there! But I have to say, I could never, ever go without underwear. It’s just too unnatural for me. I prefer to go without wearing a bra at all costs, though.

    I feel myself up all the time too! LOL. High five!

    Great post babe.

    • Dont get me wrong I wear other shoes as well, I just prefer flip flops. I have been known to say “If I cant wear flip flops, I’m not going”. Drives my friends c-r-a-z-y!!!

      I wish I could go with no bra:-( To be honest I wish I could just be naked all the time!!

  14. You are a mess for #1 but that’s what make you so special lol.

    I also agree first dates are the best ones, I like shocking men lol.

    I laugh at myself too, other people are going to do it so I might as well beat them to the punch

    I so don’t wear underwear unless it’s ornamental or necessary

    I love flip flops too and lol @ What Not to Wear I love that show.

    You are not the only one that feels up her breast, I cant help but touch mine. My H’s are so pretty lol.

    You are sweet for paying her bill, I’m forgetful like that too

    I cant go beyond 10 years when it comes to older mean because of that very reason.

    LOL my mom couldn’t say fruit for the longest, but you’re not as bad as the ppl that say ‘Skrimp’ and ‘Skreet’. or put and s after everything i.e ‘JC Penneys’

    I don’t own porn but I watch it, I’m cheap lol. I’m all for the toys though. like I said on twitter you got me beat. I want a collection like yours though.

    Side Note: my Aunt goes to True North in Cali and there is this guy she know that wants to do some ‘Shoe Deals’ with me. He will pay me to send him my old beat up shoes (they have to be beat up) and talk to him on the phone with a ghetto dialect as he masterbates with my shoes in his hand. And he wants to be dominated. lol. I’m thinking about doing it. Oh and he directed me to http://www.collerme.com interesting stuff on there. ; )

    • Doesn’t What Not To Wear rock!! Im glad to know that I am not the only who likes feeling themselves up, but H’s?? Girl bless you because its hard enough to find a F to fit these 2. I guess we likely shop at the same stores, lol!!

      OMG I CAN’T STAND when people say skreet & skimp. I used to live in Virginia Beach and I swear thats how all the natives talk. Used to annoy the shit out of me!!!

      There’s nothing wrong with downloading porn or watching it on the internet. I do that as well. I just but a lot so I KNOW I can see what i want when I want 🙂

      Sounds like that guy has a serious foot/shoe fetish. I actually know about that site I have quiet a few friends in the BDSM world. One of my really close friends actually has 2 slaves & they all live together.

  15. oh thats http://www.collerme.com

  16. A… MA…. ZING.

    HKS…FTW…*pelvic thrust*

  17. That is an interesting list!! Interesting indeed. Oddly enough, I don’t own a sex toy…too shy to visit a store in person (they’re all located in seedy areas around here)…and don’t want to waste my money if I buy one online and it isn’t *ahem* up to par. LOL

    • You can order them online baby!!! Please don’t make me order a toy for you cause I will!!!!

  18. lol I like the list dang it! Made me crack up.

    I’m a flip flop head myself. I think I have a pair in every color and a couple pairs of white ones since those are ruined once u wear them out twice.

    I go pantyless often. I have a drawer full of them but sometimes I’d rather not wear any. I can’t do the no bra thing like Zuly. Boobs are too big so that’s a no no. And Like you, if I could be naked 24/7 I’d take it!

    I own 1 sex toy and I hate it. Nothing like the real deal.

    • I agree, nothing is like the real thing, but toys are awful fun 🙂

  19. I like your list. I truly admire that you are so open and colorful. I too, really like my breasts. I’ll feel myself up in a heartbeat 🙂

  20. Love a good flip-flip – Havaianas rock. Come springtime, if there’s a warm day, then they, or my camo Birkenstocks are getting an outing. Winter-time: no chance…….

    • I pretty much only wear Havaianas. They’re the best quality I’ve ever encountered. I wear them out from using them so much though.

      • I really only wear UGG flip flops..I am a UGG junkie

      • Of course, nobody can beat my super-exclusive flip-flips……(what the hizzell……?)

      • LoL Fubsy, that last statement did come off a little doucheish didnt it LoL Now get your ass to this side of the pond so we can watch Shameless and wear UGG flip-flops (they make them for men as well 🙂 )

      • A truly tempting offer. I’ll bring the cheap beer and greasy chips for a night of hi-falutin romance….. 😉

  21. I love you dearly an everything about this insane ass list (an the person that created it) BECAUSE ITS YOU but I’m with FB pudding it took me a second to get past #1 but you rock on with ya flip flops lolliops plug em ups an stuffs

  22. OK HKS, I just saw this list and all I can say is WOW, GANGSTA! LMAO! I loved the list and might have to do one myself one day!

    1. I guess its better than a 3-some since there’s no jealousy involved, unless you get jealous that HE is a sexier woman than you! LOL!
    2. Like Nikki said, 1st dates are great because you can be very spontaneous and shocking, but sometimes they can go downhill from there!
    3. I do that too! I laugh at a lot of things, people usually think Im nuts too! LOL!
    4. LMAO! I swear it seems that 90% of women HATE panties! LOL!
    5. LOL! I love that show too… and they WILL get you one day! LOL!
    6. you got F’s!!! I’d feel you up too! LOL!
    7. that is very sweet of you to do that… but damn you gotta do it for yourself sometime! LOL!
    8. Thats funny because my mom DID marry a guy old enough to be her dad! She seemed to only ever be attracted to men 25-35 years her senior! I like older women too, but have maxed out at 20 years older!
    9. That is pretty weird you cant say those, but at least you admit you have a problem and admitting it is half the battle! LOL!
    10. Yeah, thats a lot of toys, I love porn too but I cant see myself actually buying it with all the free stuff out there. Plus, Im a guy and if the porno has ass, tits, pussy and a little Suckin & Fuckin sprinkled about for good measure, then its ALL GOOD to us! So easily satisfied! LOL!

  23. awwwww you are so kind to pay your friend’s power bill…i forget to pay mine too. i have a card JUST for that and do automatic bill pay from it lmaoo…and the underwear is PRICELESS and the transexual part i actually get…bet of both words wrapped into one hmmmmmmmm and this is why I heart you

  24. Hey I love flip flops and first dates.
    I’ve messed with an older guy or two also…..that is all. -_-

  25. I know I’m seriously late to the party, but oh well.

    1. You know what? I kinda want to do this, too. Better still, an hermaphrodite would be very interesting. I’m working on a book with a gender-bending character, and depending on the reception I get, I may write more.
    2. I love a fun date period.
    3. Laughter is the best therapy.
    4. *laughs* I need my underwear. I’m almost always happy …
    5. Flip flops and I do not get along. If I could, I’d wear boots all year long.
    6. I don’t feel myself up very much. I do have to fight the urge to feel up other folks’ though.
    7. Heh, you’re so sweet and generous.
    8. My dad looks so young that strangers in public often think we’re a couple instead of father and daughter. He is exactly 20 years older than me.
    9. My problem word is anonymity. I just can not say it.
    10. One of these days, I will have a collection as impressive as yours.

    I get the feeling you and I are a lot more alike than I’m brave enough to admit to.

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