To The Woman Seated In 17A On Flight 1837 From Salt Lake City

December 31, 2009

Dear Ma’am

Let me first say you were so, so nice. I’m not taking that away from you. You asked me about my book and where I was going, and I replied though I am ashamed to say I could not look you in the eye because I was so CRAZY PISSED.

A typical plane seat in economy class is approximately 19 inches. Breaking down my 8.2-hour  journey, I paid approximately $162 for those 19 inches. By my most modest calculations, you owe me $37.70 for the four inches of comfort and privacy you robbed me of. Let’s round that figure up to $40 for that spot where your massive thigh was rubbing against me the whole one hour flight. Add another $5 (again modest) for our shared armrest having to be up because you could not fit in the seat when it was down. If I wanted to put my seat back, I had to pretend like it wasn’t embarrassing for you (yes, i was concerned about your feelings, too) for me to ask you to lean forward so I could pull out the armrest a little and push in my button.

I by no means hate fat people.Hell Im a fluffy girl myself. I believe in the freedom to do or eat anything you want so long as it does not infringe on my freedom. This is purely a matter of financial injustice.

I’m just saying that if you need two seats, pay for two seats. Don’t hate on the moderately fluffy girl who paid just as much, if not more, for those precious 19 inches of limited plane space.

If you’re out there, please mail $45.43 $45.00 to me (i’ll pay for the stamp–it’s only fair).

Hello Kitty Slut



  1. This is one reason why my fat ass doesn’t fly unless it with someone like my wife. I don’t care about infringing on her space. Hell, she knows what my balls taste like. Doesn’t get any more infringing then that.

    • Thanks Slaus,

      Leave it to you to tun this into a balls conversation!! LMAO!!!!!

  2. LMFAO! @ 6’4″ & 280lbs, Im a big boy myself too, but I’ll be damned if I have to sit on the plane and be on OVERFLOW mode in a seat! LOL! I make sure I fly on those planes w/ the bigger seats so I dont have to deal w/ that stuff. I feel bad for bigger folks but like you said, sometime we just have to face facts. We big. We need PROPER accomodations, and yeah its screwed that the airlines dont have a Big Baby Section, but until that happens big folks need to get their two seats on, or lose some weight. I just lost 50+ pounds to make sure I dont have to worry about it! 🙂

    • Congrats on your weight loss!! I agree wholeheartedly that the airlines should maybe make a husky section. It would go First, Business, Husky, Economy. The problem with that however is the fact that if they did that, they would charge more for the seats and most husky folks are going to be like “fuck that extra $100 for a ticket, I’m going to Red Lobster.”

  3. I think I’m in lust……

    And Happy New Year to ya m’dear – I’ll swig another one for you!

    • Happy Merry New Years to you as well, please have 3 more for me 🙂

  4. I guess this could be reason # 4534583 why I will never fly….

    Happy New Year sis!

  5. I never fly alone so I don’t typically have this issue with flying. And im usually the one stuck with the aile seat so yea. But I have had to sit by a stranger or 2 who shared my seat with me or tried using my shoulder as a pillow as they snored their life away in my direction. Yea, I’m good and I feel your pain ma’am. I feel it lol

  6. LOL I hear you! I think this is why I only fly with mah girlfriends. None of us need an extra seat, and we all pick seats together. I ain’t tryin to be pissed and awake where I can obsess over my fear of heights when I can be moderately comfortable so I can conk out and ignore said fear, thanks!

    I say we send around a donation plate for that 40, 45 dollars.

  7. When I weighed 170 lbs. of pure Adonis, I still thought those seats were too narrow, especially flying 5 hours flying with a torn hamstring. The average man would’ve wept out loud, but I kept my pain inside and let it fester until the next mofo tells me that it’s the airlines right to make those seats like that!
    Yeah, I think morbid obesity has run rampant in the U.S. and you, Kitty Slut, shouldn’t have been seated next to such a rotund person, but the money grubbing airlines should take some responsibility in seat placements and actual customer care. (shrug)

  8. LMAO!!!! Damn!! Tell ’em how you really feel girl!!! 🙂

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