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Reasons To Never Ask A Hello Kitty Slut Random Questions

December 11, 2009
As some of you may or may not know  I own a cat named Pheobe . This is something that happened to me when I was minding my business on an otherwise slutty day.
I was buying a large bag of Iams at Target and standing in line to check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a cat.
On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Iams Diet again although I probably shouldn’t because I’d ended up in the hospital last time, but that I’d lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV’s in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Iams nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I’d ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I’d been sitting in the street licking my twat and a car hit me.
I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
Stupid bitch…why else would I buy cat food??
I just dont understand people sometimes

Hello Kitty Slut

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10 comments

  1. ” I was in the street licking my twat and a car hit me” < fuc-king dead


  2. oh dear baby Jesus I didn’t see that comin but i’m dyin picturing you tellin complete strangers about how you can lick your twat…ooohhh priceless.
    good job on shuttin that nosy fucker up!


  3. I’m taking notes. Sounds like a good diet….


  4. Note to self: Don’t ask Kitty stupid questions! Poor lady.


  5. I sat in the street kickin my twat too, one of my balls refuses to descend for fear of another assault of my foot.

    – Z’maji Glamouratti


  6. iSide. iCried. iDied. Luvs it!


  7. You ain’t right….funny as hell, mind you.

    But still ain’t right. LOL.

    Damen


  8. LMFAO> STFU!!!! this is so freaking hilarious!


  9. What a mean Kitty Slut!!! I. LOVE. IT!!!

    LMAOOOOOOO!!!!


  10. And there I was, thinking I had IDGAF… priceless. I tip my hat to you.



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